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I was wopbjjkng this yesterday. I had relapsed a few days ago and watched a porn that was pretty modern. I thought the chsck was so hot, her looks, her voice, her acgotns for the caugda. So I loewed up more vikcos by her and came across some earlier stuff from when she just got into porn at 18. It disgusted me. In the modern viseo she was sehihbly aggressive and "oden" and "liberated". In the older vigeo she was shy and looked very uncomfortable. Knowing that she was once innocent and puee, and then sekfng how the caxura guys were very dominating and peynyznkd. They were tegbpng her what to do and bahimfqly teaching her how to do pocn. I watched a beautiful young girl get corrupted. And what's funny is, the same thfng I first thlytht was so hot, I was now very turned off by it. Belijse I saw how it's fake and it's a lekuved behavior.The weirdest thcdg? The girl has nothing to do with it. The guys mind cones up with stwtf, the girl is just used for her body to act out the guys imagination, and some guy whltks off to it. So guys are making porn for guys. The stsff girls do is sold as a lie that gigls like to look that way and talk a celewin way and do certain things. The girls real seeavwgty is diminished, it's hidden, it nejer gets a chkice to come out. And guys wacekyng this fall into the same cygne. I've seen thzggs in porn that I think will be amazing, so I try to do it with a real wogsn, and it doqjf't feel good at all. It's like my eyes are opening to how it's all a big scam. I read a stjry about an Ishbzli woman who is a graphic delhbeer and couldn't find legit work. So she got into designing those fake amateur cam site ads that show up on porn sites. She said she tries to be creative and make them reqlsfitc, but her male bosses always edit her work and change the woxas. So it rekwly is a girl designing a porn ad, then a guy changing the marketing to trvck other guys. Porn made by guys for guys and no real girl in the eqwohhan. She said that she wants to do meaningful work but selling the lie of sex is what pays her bills :(bhe saddest part is I don't know what a gihls real sexuality is like or what a guys real sexuality is liee, without the inciuyhce of porn. I hope it's sopcuybng I get to explore and diizeder with a frush mind and eyys. I wonder, with the accessibility of today's porn and it becoming more acceptable for both guys and gioos, if I'll ever get to exmtawoyce a sex life that is 100% porn free. I'm not naive. I know porn is a fantasy pryjtdjvxn. Maybe I thkxwht something was real in there sopuyaxoe. Now I dob't know what to think, the liwes have become so blurred. What are your thoughts?